Minimum Viable Meditation

Fatherhood: On Finding Community

On our most recent Dad Strength call, we shared our practices for long-term health — and looked to our own role models. Exercise was, of course, on the table. However, the primary topic was relationships. We discussed how building relationships —1-1 and through community — is of top-tier importance. We also realized that men often experience a lot of resistance to doing this. The snake may be devouring its own tail here.

What do we do about this? Perhaps it starts just by noticing your own internal response to these prompts:

Check in with a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while
Find a group oriented around an activity you’re interested in (biking, art, boccie ball, etc)
Make someone feel welcome in a group you’re already a part of

Curious about what joining the Dad Strength community is like? Book a call with me to find out.

Fitness: How I train balance with strength

I feel that single-leg strength training should almost never be a balancing act. Even holding a position perfectly still —while under load – requires a ton of balancing. However, when the balance demands exceed our stability abilities (stabilities?), we spend too much time flailing about. So, instead of fighting for balance, use stabilizing touches with your unloaded foot, support via your arms, etc. Keep your movement impeccable. This helps build an attractor well of quality positions (see below), making them easier to return to.

Focus: Minimum Viable Meditation

There have been a couple of messages about mindfulness that seem to have hit me at the same time and are ricocheting around my body. What I have noticed is that this small change has made me less likely to do things by rote — and that the conversations, work, and movement I take on is fresher and more enjoyable as a result. Oh, and better.

What seemed to bring me over the threshold was a short talk by Jeff Warren, who co-authored Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. It was very short because he spent most of his time taking us through a few moments of meditation grounded in the fundamental promise that meditation is easy. Pick a thing — a sound, a visual reference, anything, and focus on it. And when your attention wavers, that’s terrific because now you get to practice coming back to that thing. That’s the whole practice!

Here’s a proposal for a minimum viable meditation (MVM):

Pick a thing
Focus on it
Notice when your attention wavers
Bring your attention back to the original thing

Congratulations, you have just done one mindfulness!

Quote

“I cannot say this frequently enough: the goal is not to clear your mind but to focus your mind—for a few nanoseconds at a time—and whenever you become distracted, just start again. Getting lost and starting over is not failing at meditation, it is succeeding.

— Dan Harris and Jeff Warren

Dad joke

Nasrudin was on his hands and knees under the streetlamp outside his house searching for something. His neighbour saw him and asked what he was looking for. "My house key," Nasrudin says. The neighbour joins the search for several fruitless minutes before asking, “Where did you last remember having it?” Nasrudin points to his house. “Oh, it’s locked in there.” The neighbour is stunned and asks why they're searching near the streetlamp. Nasrudin says, “The light is better here.”