Raising Deception-Proof Kids

  • Fatherhood: Raising deception-proof kids
  • Toronto meetup: March 3
  • Fitness: 4 ways working out is like investing
  • Focus: The best moments in our lives
  • A book, a quote, a dad joke

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Fatherhood: Raising deception-proof kids

There are people who will try to change your kid’s mind — and behaviour. Ads. Dark patterns in video games. Peer pressure. Grifts and scams. Worse. How do we prepare our kids for a world that is not always benevolent — but without having to live in a metaphorical bunker. Or a literal one? There is a high cost to hyper-vigilance.

Like most things, it starts with us. We model honesty and emotional safety by telling them how we’re feeling — without making those emotions scary for them. Which is a reminder that kids sometimes lie to protect their feelings — but they may also lie to protect ours.

We can teach our kids about major red flags — like adults telling them to keep secrets. Or promises that are too good to be true. We can also consume media with them and, in age appropriate ways, teach them about the strategies people use to influence us. More on that in today’s recommended book.

On our next weekly call: Low-hanging fruit

Health is a system. Your sleep affects your exercise; your exercise affects your mood; your mood affects your relationships; your relationships affect your income; and any of these things can affect your sleep. And around it goes.

When you’re feeling stuck, it can be tempting to zoom in on the details. Sometimes, this really is the way forward. However, I can also tell you that progress is often the most forthcoming when we first zoom out and examine how everything fits together.

Fitness: 4 ways working out is like investing

1. Focus on the high-probability stuff

Warren Buffet has owned 400-500 stocks. He's made money on maybe 20 of them. Your highest-yield health exercise habits are less of a guessing game and more about doing the fundamentals well — and over a long period of time. Move often. Challenge yourself. Rest well. Chase the foods that nourish you. Be mindful of the ones that don’t.

2. Avoid people with irrational certainty

People who understand the research will say stuff like, “It depends” a lot. Grifters, on the other hand, use a lot of powerful words. “It’s simple,” they say. “It’s obvious.” "Only do this." "Never do that." That's not what an expert opinion sounds like. We all wish for certainty; that’s human. However, beware of people who offer it.

3. Manage risk

A physically active life carries some risk of injury. Then again, so does a totally sedentary one. The trick is to manage risks and keep yourself in the game. Think in terms of orthopaedic, cardiovascular, and even emotional health. Be responsive to signals so that you can stay in the game for as long as possible. Optionality is everything.

4. Use what you’ve got

A live-in chef would absolutely make things easier. Or a multi-million dollar home gym with full-time staff. Or having been born to more athletic parents. However... here we are. Walk if you can walk. Run if you can run. Learn to better leverage the time, space, and abilities already at your disposal. You might not have everything you want but you have everything you need to move forward.

Focus: How you get into flow (closed-circle insight survey)

”The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times...the best moments usually occur when a person's body or mind is stretched to it's limited in voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”

— Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

I’m going to leave our survey for one more week. Fill this out if you want access to the answers.

The question: How do you get into deep focus — and stay there?


Optimus wants you to know that, before it was called autoregulation, it was called "Cybernetic Periodization."

Book Recommendation

Influence by Robert Cialdini is considered to be essential reading on the tools that people use to influence your behaviour. If you’re already familiar with it, then you may want to check out his follow-up, Pre-Suasion, which is lesser known but just as important.

Check out our (growing) book list

Submit your own recommendations here


“It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.”

— Leonardo da Vinci

Dad joke

Wanna hear a good sodium joke?


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