You Are Not Alone

  • Dad wisdom: How we talk about hard things
  • Focus: Schedules for feelings
  • Fitness: Train for the long-haul
  • Retreat update
  • Bonus stuff

The Power of Community

One of our dads was a being bit sheepish. He hadn’t been on the calls lately because he was going through some things. “I don’t want to monopolize the conversation,” he said.

One thing about a well-functioning community is that sometimes you contribute to its resources and sometimes you draw from them. There is a balance, to be sure, but no community can function without both of these roles fulfilled.

To him, this challenge was something nobody else could relate to or understand. He was wrong, though; all of us could. I'm telling you this because there is a very good chance that whatever you feel alone about is something universal. And when you share it, you not only feel less alone, you help others feel less alone. This is one of the hardest—and the best—things that you can do.

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Schedule by Feelings

At some point, we’ve all run ourselves into the ground by chasing around an impossible to-do list. Time-blocking is a more enlightened alternative that says, “Hey, work on this for a while—and be at peace with whatever you’re able to accomplish within that window.” It’s definitely an upgrade. To that, I would suggest asking an additional question:

How do I want to feel going into this block of work?”

Do you need to be creative? Focused? Calm? Fully stoked and ready to rip the gnar—just fully send it? Once you’ve answered that, you can then investigate the following: what do you need to do to get there?

Train for the long haul

I used to train Brazilian jiu jitsu alongside a nutritionist—someone who prided himself on his own fitness. Our instructor was a tough man—a biker and BJJ blackbelt—who was famously uninterested in working out. One day, the nutritionist challenged him. “Let’s do a decathlon to prove who’s fittest. We’ll do a bunch of events. We can bike, run, swim, and climb...” And then, in a fit of hubris, he added, “We can do a jiu jitsu event too!” The instructor paused for a moment and then growled, “Jiu jitsu first.”

The moral of this story is that it’s hard to run on a broken femur. Or swim when your arm has become detached from the rest of your body. Athletic options are reduced by injury. Sometimes permanently.

Everything has a risk-to-reward ratio. Risk management begins with exercise selection. You can get a great workout free-climbing El Capitan, for example. Or by fist-fighting a hammerhead shark. But there are safer ways to do things. The goal is maximum benefit with minimum risk. It is measured by consistency over a lifetime instead of performance in the short-term. Life isn’t a sprint. It’s a series of marathons punctuated by unpredictable—and sometimes bizarre—events.

Retreat update

Nosara, Costa Rica is still the destination. The question, however, is one of timing. Our initial plan to head over in late April carries a risk. The rainy season will just be starting and will be tough to walk among the mangroves if the water is up to our ankles. I’m working on two new potential dates—pushing back to November of 2024 or possibly sprinting ahead to the beginning of next year (Jan 29 to Feb 4, 2024)—less than three months away. If you have a preference—especially if you’re biasing toward fast action—get in touch.

You want more details? Alright, pal. We’ll be looking at health through a systems lens—and how to build a unique health blueprint that fits your life, demands, and unique strengths (mental and physical). The location is gorgeous and includes healthy meals, daily activities, and surfing access via a private beach.


“We are called at certain moments to comfort people who are enduring some trauma. Many of us don't know how to react in such situations, but others do. In the first place, they just show up. They provide a ministry of presence.”

―David Brooks

Dad joke

What did the zero say to the eight?

“Nice belt.”

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